A Load of Laundry.

Except for a brief trip to Target, I’ve been working on cleaning up my inbox all morning.  I have many other tasks I should be working on, but the email is great for my lack of attention span and general lack of wanting to be standing.  Last night I didn’t sleep, which is pretty typical, and when my son woke me at 5:15, I was not ready to be awake.  The headache that had finally dissipated after 5 days was back and I wasn’t ready for a sick child’s attitude.

Nathan came home early from camp on Friday with a low grade fever and vomiting.  He threw up again on Saturday and from noon on he had a fever.  He didn’t cool down until around 10pm, even with Motrin.  Today he woke up at 99 and we’re up to almost 100 even after Motrin this morning.  And he is cranky as all get out.  Unless by some miracle the fever goes down without medication, we’ll be at the doctor tomorrow because I’m not comfortable with this many days of illness without a break.
Yesterday was a long day of running back and forth to the bathroom in a panic he’d be sick.  Once he is sick one time, he worries constantly that he’ll throw up again.  He was not in good spirits either and though I was patient with him all day, he finally pushed me to my limit at about 7pm.  He was up at 5:30 yesterday, so I think I did a pretty good job under the circumstances.  (Actually I don’t, I feel like shit that I lost my temper at all).   By the time he was asleep, the dinner I planned to cook just was not happening.  We ordered take out and then I dumped  bowl of ice cream down my throat for good measure.
Today I am tired, my head hurts and I’m wiped out.  Nathan’s watching a movie with his dad (who also hasn’t been feeling well), so I have had the time to work on the emails and write this.  What I had planned to do, cleaning, organizing and purging, isn’t happening.  What that ultimately means is that I’m not on my feet at all, not even getting any passive exercise.  And since passive exercise was really all I was aiming for, it’s a disappointment.
I’ve been trying to get back on track with diet and exercise, but I’m stuck in this cycle.  I feel like crap, so I don’t exercise.  My toe is still broken and it still hurts like hell, so it’s easy to blow it off.  Then, because I didn’t do anything physical, it’s the perfect excuse to eat garbage.  It’s not like I’m negating any hard work, right?  Eating like shit causes me to sleep poorly (heartburn, anyone?), which leaves me sluggish the next day.  I have trouble getting myself to be active on a good day, so on a bad it’s that much harder.  Throw in some self-loathing for my sloth- and slob-like ways and it’s all just one big mess.
I’m trying to break the cycle, but it’s just so hard.  I wanted to start a feature here about how I’m working towards better health with an initial focus on how the little things make such a difference.  Except I’m not even doing the little things, so there’s nothing to say.  I told myself once I wrote this post I’d get up and switch the laundry and then vacuum the attic stairs.  If I do that at least it’s something. Maybe I’ll feel like doing more.  Maybe not, but at least I won’t have been sitting all day.  This post is sort of a confession for the posts I haven’t written that you didn’t even know I’d committed myself to, which is silly, but there it is.
So I’m getting up now to do the laundry. Then I’m going to vacuum the stairs.  I don’t want to.  I want to curl up on the couch with a snack and a blanket and watch a movie.  But that’s not going to help me. 
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, or maybe a load of laundry.

Linking up with the moonshine grid this weekend.  Why not pop on over and read some other blogs?

15 Responses to “A Load of Laundry.”

  1. I am sorry to hear about the toe pain and illness. It’s hard enough when I feel great….

    • I wasn’t really taking care of the toe the way I should have been, so I should not be surprised. The illness is 100% out of my hands which is driving me crazy. I’m just going to keep working on what I can and it’s going to have to be enough.

  2. 50Peach says:

    Oh no… so sorry this weekend has been a complete bust, in all kinds of ways. No bueno, my friend. I do hope everyone (including you) is on the mend soon. Big hugs to you.

  3. When I get some good exercise I actually feel like I’m allowed to eat a little crappy. When I don’t exercise, I feel I should keep it healthy.

    It is really hard to break the cycle. But I firmly believe that you WILL when you are darn good and ready. You have to be ready.

    • I think your attitude is much healthier than mine. I’m very all or nothing, so I’m either losing weight or getting fatter. Your way makes much more sense!

      I want to be ready, I keep thinking I’m ready, but well, I don’t know.

  4. Kristin says:

    You’ve inspired me to vacuum. Tomorrow.

  5. Ugh, laundry. I always put it off until my hamper is overflowing and neither of us have any socks, such is the depth of my hatred for that particular household chore.

    • I’m really not a fan of it either. No matter how much you do, there’s always more. I try to do one load 2-3 times per week so it doesn’t pile up, but sometimes I just can’t and there are mountains.

  6. Ken says:

    I’ve pretty much written off any sort of regular exercise routine over this summer. Too much beer and BBQ, and being far too lazy when time allows. Come winter though, I’m getting back to the track! And stretching! Or, maybe I’ll help with the laundry? :)

    • I was doing so well for a few weeks, but then it fell apart. I keep saying I’m going to try to do the little things, but unless spooning ice cream into my face counts as a little thing, I have nothing.

  7. Ugh, I was where you are a few months back. First I broke my toe, then pulled a rib muscle, and packed on more pounds instead of losing what I’d gained the previous year. It was so frustrating! Finally, after about a year of setbacks, I’m finally moving forward, but it’s not easy. Some days I just want a gallon of ice cream and a date with the couch.
    Good luck! I know how hard it is. :(

    • I was feeling sorry for myself with the one thing after another stuff. Not that I’m glad you went through that, but I’m glad it’s not just me.

      And toes are so little, why must they hurt so much?!

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