Ah, Summer.

A new season only means one thing for me, a new set of stuff to complain about!  So here it is, my list of things I hate about summer.

1.  Grilling.  I like grilled food, but I don’t like the act of grilling.  You have to bring all the food outside, plus the cooking utensils, plus clean plates to put the grilled food on, then bring it back inside (unless you’re eating outside, more on that later).  Then when dinner is done, you still have to clean up the kitchen, but you have the added bonus of getting to clean up and cover the grill, too.

2.  Eating outside.  You know what likes your food as much as you do?  Bugs.  Bugs like to land on your food, even when you are about to put it in your mouth.  And they say that every time a fly lands it pukes, so think about that.

3.  Mosquito and gnat bites.  Nothing looks hotter than seeing a grown woman in shorts with bug bites swelling up all over the place, right?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

4.  Yard work.  In the winter, and even the spring and fall, I can ignore the bulk of the yard work.  It’s pretty hard in the summer though.  We often have our kid or other people’s kids playing out there, so it’s imperative that we keep things mowed and trimmed.

5.  Heat and humidity.  I really, really don’t like being cold.  But I don’t like being hot either.  I would prefer to be at a comfortable temperature and have weather adjust itself according to my whims. Is that wrong?  It has actually been pretty chilly around here lately, so I can’t complain (well, I mean I CAN, but I shouldn’t). Soon enough it will be 90+ days, with 90% humidity and we won’t be able to breathe outside.  Maybe I’d prefer a dry heat…

6.  Air conditioners.  You would think that with the oppressive heat here at times, I’d like some AC.  However, you’d be wrong.  I don’t like the sound of ACs.  Any kind of incessant humming drives me crazy.  I hate putting them in the windows, I hate taking them out, I hate looking at them in the windows, I hate looking at them in my basement when they are out.  I also hate that I don’t have central air.  So maybe there’s just a smidge of jealousy in all of this.

7.  My knees.  I hate my knees year round, but by summer they are much harder to hide under pants.

8.  Bees.  They are scary.  They could kill me (probably not).  They caused a long standing joke. If you’re lucky, you can watch me fall down running from one.  It happens at least once ever summer.

9.  Vacations.  I like vacations, of course, but I want to be off all summer (yes, more jealousy), not just for a week.  I also hate packing, which is one of the most anxiety producing things I can think of.  In fact, it’s 5 weeks until our summer vacation, which means it’s 1 week until I have to start pre-packing.

10.  Fireworks.  I know by now you’re just shaking your head, wondering just how miserable one woman could be.  I like fireworks on the 4th, where they belong.  There was already someone in my neighborhood shooting some off last night (that was June 22, if you don’t feel like checking the post date).  My husband and I had to ask the usual question, “Fireworks or gunshots?” Followed by the usual reply, “Fireworks, I think.  I hope…” Followed by the other usual reply, “If they wake that kid up, I will kill them.”

There are things I like about summer. Maybe if I’m feeling chipper one of these days I’ll write about them.

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy your summer.  I’ll try to enjoy mine.


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18 Responses to “Ah, Summer.”

  1. PAMO says:

    I hate my knees too. I hate fireworks because everyone in my neighborhood is an amateur fireworks pyrotechnic something or the other. Grilling out- way too much trouble especially when Burger King is just around the corner. And now I have to stop because I’m being seized by an attack of packing anxiety. :-) Fun read!

    • The thing that really gets me about grilling is we claim to do it b/c it’s too hot to cook inside. Except standing next to a grill with an internal temp of 600 when it’s nearly 100 degrees doesn’t sound much better. I’d rather make a sandwich (or get take out).

  2. carrie says:

    I hear ya Michelle. I lve the IDEA of summer. Then it appears and I’m wildly dodging bugs, groaning about spreading sunscreen on three kids every hour, and doing my best not to overheat while watching my kids play in a tiny pool in our yard.

    Flies barf when they land…that’s one thing I never needed to know.

    Hope you have a great summer despite the complaints!

  3. psychochef says:

    Fireworks are my least favorite thing about summer. We live rurally – where M-80’s are the celebratory noise of choice. I always feel bad for the dogs, cats and farm animals.

    I also hate the humming of air conditioners and fans!

    P.S. Honey bees won’t attack you, they are amazing creatures and good for the planet. It’s the yellow jackets that are to be feared : )

  4. Daniel Nest says:

    Sounds like you’re in need of some serious Prancercise therapy! 😉

  5. So with you. I hate the assholes who are now at the park judging me and getting up in my business.

  6. Zoe Byrd says:

    I didnt realize I disliked so much about summer until I read this!

  7. kristin says:

    Totally agree about keeping fireworks where they belong…on the 4th! And MAYBE also on New Year’s Eve. That’s acceptable as well.

  8. AGREE on keeping fireworks on the 4th. Last Friday night I was sitting in my living room, reading a book and minding my own business, when suddenly, my neighborhood was under attack. Except, we weren’t under attack so much as some people up the street from my decided to set off major fireworks. On June 14th. Figure that out. Scared the crap out of me.

  9. cynk says:

    Oh, I hate the hum of the A/C too! Actually, I hate all low humming/buzzing sounds. It’s even worse now that I’ve definitely my inner ear troubles. Why does the lovely, cool air from the A/C have to be so loud?!

    • Yes! The humming/buzzing of anything makes me crazy. I spend a lot of nights trying to sleep when it’s slightly uncomfortable just so that I don’t have to listen to it.

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