I had a post planned for today, but it’s going to have to wait. It’s the kind of post that can. Mostly it was going to have links and such and I’m not much in the mood for a multiple link post. I’m worn out, so you’re going to get some words.
I woke up on my couch just before four this morning. My husband was on the other couch. This happens a lot, us falling asleep in front of the TV. When Kris realized I was up, he told me about the shooting at a mall very close to my house. I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep after that.
I had three different part time jobs in that mall. When I staged my own What Not To Wear style intervention, this is the mall where I replaced my wardrobe. This was the mall of my youth, where I went to try to meet boys, hang out with friends, and buy my New Kids on the Block posters. Just on Sunday, I met up with someone in the parking lot of this mall to sell her an old car seat.
Now this mall was the location of yet another shooting. Thankfully, no one but the shooter was hurt last night. I know he had bad intentions, but I can’t help feeling sadness for his family, his friends, and even for him. To think that this is what people become – one who murders or attempts murder for reasons we may never know – it’s devastatingly sad.
Today I happened to see a post on Facebook that mentioned a local school on lock down, but didn’t say which. I went to Google, thankful that my own son wasn’t in school today, only to find two different area schools were locked down due to threats of gun violence. My heart sank again for the second time in about twelve hours.
I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to stay safe. I don’t know how to protect my son. And I worry that my family or friends will become the victims of this crazy violence. I wonder what it is that causes these people, in some instances practically babies, to turn so hateful and angry. Could someone I know take this sort of action? One of my son’s classmates? The child of a friend? My own child?
I took my son to his first real karate class tonight. I sat and watched Nathan jump into things, in a manner quite unlike him. He wasn’t shy or nervous. He participated, he focused and he was joyful. I started to well up, but this time with pride and happiness.
Tonight my son is safe in his bed, tuckered out from being a kid. I wish I could keep him safe and innocent and small forever. I can’t and I probably shouldn’t try. Instead, I think I’ll focus on talking to him, loving him, and doing what I can to make his world a better place.
This is NaBloPoMo Day 5.