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Hour.

This week’s Monday Listicles topic is to describe an hour of my life.  I think I’m supposed to adhere to that 10 things rule, but I’m throwing caution to the wind today!  I thought about outlining the bedtime routine, but I’m sure it’s similar to everyone else’s.  Try to get child to go to bed, listen to child protest. Even though I spend many of my weekly hours at work, I can’t write about that.  But here’s a little snippet for you:  do something, cross it off list, find out I have more things to do, get annoyed, add things to list.  Repeat endlessly.  Sometimes you can throw in a meeting about what I need to do, what I didn’t do yet or what I could maybe do in the future when I get some free time. I figured one of my random hours would be much better.  And what better hour than the one I was about to embark upon.  Here we go. 7:06 am – Bring laundry down to the basement to start, take towels from Wednesday out of the dryer.  Bring towels upstairs, deposit them on the hall bench. 7:08 – Unload dishwasher, put the painting supplies that were by the sink by the stairs to put up to the kid’s room (they’d only been sitting there for a week!).  Start washing the dishes in the sink and rinsing the recycling that was in there.  Listen to musings about Angry Birds and say, “Uh-huh” whenever the child pauses.  Sometimes I say, “Whoa, that’s cool!” and “Really?” 7:12 – Start cleaning up the rest of the kitchen and gathering supplies for our road trip to my cousin’s wedding later. 7:16 – Time to do the counters.  Start in the northeast corner, move all the appliances to wipe under them.  Yes, I do this weekly.  Clean out the sink, too. 7:25 – Start cleaning the tantry.  What’s a tantry?  Maybe you call yours a poilet.  When we moved into this house, it had a room off the kitchen with the washer and dryer, some kitchen cabinets and a toilet.  There is no sink.  When the washer broke, we removed the ancient relics (they were probably from the late 70s) and bought new ones for the basement.  We intended to remove the hook ups and the toilet and make it a pantry.  That was almost two years ago.  We never got that far because everything else in the house decided to break.  So now it holds the dog’s bowls and food, the recycling, some panty items in the cabinets and a toilet.  It’s good for when the kid has an emergency.  Anyway, what do you call a pantry with a toilet?  A tantry!  (Or a poilet.) 7:28 – Realize I didn’t clean out the steam cleaner from when I used it yesterday.  I start doing that. 7:33 – Child asks if he can have a double chocolate muffin top for breakfast.  No, it’s too much chocolate for breakfast.  He argues with me that the muffin part isn’t chocolate, it’s just cake colored to look like chocolate.  I tell him it IS chocolate and I said no.  More arguing.  I pretend to read the package.  “Cake part made of chocolate.  See?  Now, what do you want for breakfast?” 7:35 – Kid still can’t decide what he wants. 7:36 – Go to the living room to fold the towels.  Kid asks what would happen if he walked from the couch onto...
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48 Hours.

There were two Monday Listicles topics to choose from this week.  One was to list essentially 10 good things about ourselves.  I only got through the first thing on the list before I started picking on myself, so I’m going to go with option 2:  How I would spend 48 hours with unlimited cash and no responsibilities. It’s funny that this topic came up because just this weekend I was talking with one of my girlfriends about an ill-fated girls weekend that never materialized.  We decided to tone it down from 2 nights 200+ miles away to about 25-30 hours off duty.  There’s a restaurant we like with a chain hotel behind it.  So our plan is to gather the ladies for a night of dinner and drinks and then walk (or crawl) back to our hotel room, split as many ways as possible to keep costs low.  Then we’ll go to breakfast and the mall the next day.  All this will happen about 10 miles from my house, not too much farther for the rest of the ladies.  It serves the purpose of giving us a break and a night away, but it’s not a fantastic getaway. Now if I had unlimited cash and 48 hours, it would be more like this: 1.  I would get a car service to pick me up at my house and take me and a few of my best girlfriends into New York City.  The friends would have to meet me here and we’re not waiting for anyone who is late because they aren’t cutting into my 48 hours. 2.  We’d check into a fabulous hotel.  No doubling up (unless we wanted to).  I want my quiet time alone!  I would take a hot shower in a beautiful bathroom and I would take as long as I wanted without a small person coming in to use the bathroom.  I would shave my legs AND condition my hair, even if it hadn’t been that long since I last did it.  I would dry off with a fluffy warm towel and put on a plush robe.  When I was ready to get dressed, I’d discard these items on the floor for someone else to launder.  I’d only use them once, unlike the recycled towels at my house. 3.  Next we’d head to the spa.  We’d stay there as long as it took to destress, or at least get to a passable level without using up our entire time.  I’m talking massage, mani-pedis, hot tub, whatever.  I’d also find someone to blow out my hair since most spas have salons in them, too. 4.  We would head out to a nice lunch.  It would taste as delicious and be as filling as things that make me enormous, but they wouldn’t leave me feeling enormous. 5.  We’d go shopping.  I would be able to buy clothes that looked nice on my unfortunately proportioned body and I wouldn’t have to worry about the cost.  If I bought many bags full, I’d pay someone to carry my stuff. 6.  I’d slip away from the ladies for a while so I could hit up Staples and The Container Store.  I’d buy all the organizational stuff and office supplies that I’ve ever wanted.  I’d bring some to my room to use later but I’d have most of it shipped home.  If one of my friends wanted to come watch this major geek-out, that would be fine, but I suspect none of...
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Books.

The list topic is books.  What about books?  I suppose that’s up to me.  I am 100% incapable of reviewing a book (or a movie or TV show, in case you’re curious).  The best I can tell you is that I liked something or didn’t, but I can’t tell you why.  If we’re watching TV and you get up to use the bathroom, when you come back I can’t tell you what happened.  It’s only gotten worse as I’ve aged. The other thing that’s gotten worse since I aged?  My ability to read a book!  Before I had a child, I was always busy.  Now that I have a child, I’m tired and always busy.  In high school though I devoured books. So, here’s a list of books and some things about them.  I do not claim that this list will do anything for you in any way, shape or form. 1.  The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer – I was a huge Twin Peaks fan when it was on which was when I was in high school. I’ve rewatched the series several times since it’s then.  There were quite a few books on the matter back in the day.  I loved this because it was depressing and Laura was a bad girl – so different from how I was.  In a sick way, I wanted to be her.  Except for the dead part. 2.  All of the Jim Morrison poetry books that came out in the early 90s.  – Also, from when I was in high school.  Drugs seemed cool.  I wanted to be cool.  Being the female Jim Morrison sounded cool.  Except for the dead part (noticing a pattern here?). 3.  Lord of the Flies – Probably the only book in high school that I truly loved.  In college, I reread it and then wrote a lengthy paper comparing it with the two movies that had been made of it.  I got an A.  Lucky day for me. {I think I’m done fixating on high school books and I’ll move on to college now.} 4.  Summer Sisters by Judy Blume – This book made me sob when I read it about 14 years ago.  I remember the big twist that happened somewhere near the end (I won’t spoil it for you).  Other than that, I just remember really liking it and it reminding me of a friendship that I had with someone from my past.  But then I read some Amazon reviews that said it was bad, so who knows if it’s any good or not. Maybe I’ll read it again. In all my “spare” time. 5.  A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley – A wonderful book about the dynamics of a particular family.  Really well written.  I think it won an award.  I’m too lazy to look this up.  But you can, I’ll wait.  I read this in college and felt all smart writing a paper on it.  There was a scene where someone uses a plant to try to kill someone.  I read it before the internet was a real thing, but if I had known about Google, I’d have looked up to see if it was true. {Moving on to post-college} 6.  Bossypants by Tina Fey – OK, I just love Tina Fey.  I also love her character Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, which makes me love the actress even more.  I wish I had written that book because it was hilarious.  Then I...
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On The Road.

Before we moved to our current home in 2010, we lived in rural Sussex County, New Jersey.  There was a farm at the end of our street with horses.  You had to pass farms to get to our house.  To get anywhere from our house, you had to pass a ton of other stuff since our house was located far from everything.  Except maybe farms. As a result, we spent a great deal of time on the road.  Now that we’ve moved, we don’t spend nearly so much.  Here’s a list of the top ten things I don’t miss, to link up once again with Monday Listicles. 1.  Gas prices.  I mean honestly. Even when they go down a little, they are still awful.  And when you can’t do anything without driving at least 10 miles, you spend a fortune just thinking about leaving the house. 2.  My child loved to play games where we named everything we could think of in a particular category.  And by we, I mean that I had to make these lists for his amusement.   Name all the colors!  Name everything that starts with Q!  Name all the big birds!  Name all the numbers! 3.  Since there were only 2 main roads that connected us with civilization, everyone and their mother was always on them at the same time.  There was always traffic.  Always. 4.  It seemed like there was constantly construction going on.  It didn’t matter if we were driving in the dead of night, rush hour or the middle of the day, there was always a road crew exactly where I was.   5.  The other by-product of construction was all of the flying rocks and debris that I could guarantee would hit my window while riding on Route 80.  Less than a month after getting a brand new car, I replaced that brand new windshield with an even brand newer windshield courtesy of a giant rock kicked up by a construction vehicle pulling out of the construction site as I drove past.  Thank you very much. 6.  In the span of 6 months, we had two car accidents (both times my son was in the car – he was about 2.75 the first time, 3.25 the second time).  No one was hurt, thank goodness, but the second one lead to the new car mentioned in #5 above. 7.  20 miles to the closest Trader Joe’s.  40 miles to the closest Whole Foods.  Need I say more? 8.  You could not go ANYWHERE at 3pm unless you wanted to be stuck behind a school bus on a rural road for the next hour.  You might as well wait at home until 4pm and you’d still get where you wanted to go at the same time. 9.   I only went into the office 2 days every week, but it was still dreadful.  43 miles to my in-laws’ house to drop off Nathan.  6.5 miles to my office.  6.5 miles back to their house, 43 miles back home.  Nearly 100 miles and 2+ hours on the road for about 5-6 hours of work. 10.  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet? Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  I’m bored.  I’m hungry.  I’m tired.  I’m uncomfortable. It’s hot in here.  It’s cold in here.  I have to go to the bathroom.  Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? There you have it, the top ten things...
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Guilty Pleasures.

I’m going to link up with Monday Listicles for the first time this week.  The topic here is guilty pleasures.  I’m human, so I have a few.  These 10 are a start. 1.  Teenagers Melodrama – I love a good TV show about teenagers with drama.  Gilmore Girls has always been a favorite of mine.  I love the interaction between Rory and Lorelai.  My current TV Guilty Pleasure is The Secret Circle.  Sometimes I will watch it at the same time as my friend and we’ll text our reactions as we watch.  You know, because I’m actually only 13. 2.  Troubled People Reality TV – Give me a show about hoarding, addiction or obesity and I. Am. Hooked.  I don’t know why I like to watch shows about people who are so desperately troubled, but I do. It’s not like I’m rooting for them or against them. I actually don’t care what the outcome is.  I like the story.  I want all the details.  I tend to watch these shows when my husband travels and they depress the hell out of me.  I stay up way too late watching.  It’s really unhealthy.  Maybe I could be the star of one:  I am addicted to shows about addiction! 3.  30 Rock – My husband and I rewatch the series on Netflix Instant over and over again.  We have the current season on DVR so I can just put the show on when I’m getting sleepy and let Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey send me off to slumber.  The truth is I’m very Liz Lemon-y and I get a huge kick out of her.  My husband will point out when she’s making a face I would make or doing something I would do.  It’s probably a bit narcissistic that I love a show that reminds me of me but, well, I don’t care. 4.  Potatoes – Mashed is my favorite.  Cheddar cheese, scallions, bacon (or vegetarian bacon if I’m being good).  Or gravy.  Gravy is good.  Lots of butter.  Sometimes fried onions, which I love, but is a total PITA with all that cutting and what not.  I prefer made from scratch, but I’ll make instant.  Because when you NEED potatoes, you just can’t waste time futzing around peeling them and such. 5.  Cheese – I love pizza, disco fries and nachos.  All together?  Sure, why not.  In case you don’t know, disco fries are fries with mozzarella cheese and brown gravy.  I think it’s a NJ diner thing, but I highly encourage you to try it.  I will admit though that when I’m not totally hungry, I sometimes just pick the melted cheese off of whatever vessel it’s located on and I eat it by itself.  If it was socially acceptable to go to a restaurant and order a plate of melted cheese, I’m absolutely certain I would. {Let’s take a brief moment to reflect on the fact that my top 5 guilty pleasures are TV and food related.  Carry on.} 6.  Social Media – I cannot tear myself away from Twitter and Facebook.  I need to know what each and every one of you are eating for lunch, what you’re complaining about, what your kid ate for lunch, what movie you’re seeing, what your current malady is, and so on.  And then I will tell you all those things about me.  It’s the first thing I do when I wake up, usually the last thing I do when I go to sleep....