Category Archives: Random

Ode to My Heater

Morning, Heater, my old friend.
You’re here to warm me up again.
Because winter’s slowly creeping,
It got cold while I was sleeping
And the warmness that I used to feel is gone.
It’s all wrong.
That’s why I love my heater.

It used to be warm when I woke.
Now it’s cold; there is no hope.
At four-thirty when I wake up,
I shiver and I put my hoodie on.
But the feeling in my fingers is all gone.
My toes are numb.
That’s why I need my heater.

And though it’s cold I have to work
With every part of me that’s hurt
From the shaking I’ve been doing,
All this involuntary shiv’ring,
But the glow of the heater says it’s on.
Soon I’ll be warm.
All ’cause of you, my heater.

There are some who like it cold
Although why I do not know.
When it’s warm I can get things done.
I use a heater when there’s no sun.
Outside it’s cold, but in here it’s 85.
I feel alive
When I turn on my heater.

Now it’s kinda hot in here.
I’ll hang my hoodie on my chair.
And my thigh is starting to burn
I’ll move the heater back before it’s worse.
But I’ll never, no, I’ll never turn it off.
At least ’til May.
Oh, yes, I love my heater.

Thanksgiving Eve.

I have a ton of work to do by tomorrow morning (and a ton more this weekend) but I’m off from my day job until Monday and I’m quite pleased about that.

This is the first year in over a decade that I’m not hosting Thanksgiving. I’ve been threatening for years to stop cooking and this year we got an invite to celebrate with a friend’s family. While I used to love to cook, the pressure to put together an elaborate meal (one my kid won’t even eat, btw) with never enough time to prep is just too much. It was never even that many of us but it was too much. I work a day job plus freelance plus family and it is JUST. TOO. MUCH.

So today I got out of work early, took my kid and his busted face to the doctor (his face is rapidly becoming less busted), then came home and worked. I had dessert for dinner and now I’m going to bed at 9. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and work and then not cook and it will be glorious. I haven’t been this relaxed on a Thanksgiving Eve in, well, over a decade.

TGIF.

I am so worn out from the past few days, so I’m going to give out some unsolicited advice based on my experiences leaving the house this week.

1. Drive better. Maybe if there were less accidents, I wouldn’t spend so much of my damn life stuck in traffic. 90 minutes to get home from my office that is only 20 miles away is ridiculous. Just drive your car home. Do not drive it into someone else’s car and then we can all get home faster.

2. I get that sitting on a toilet seat in a public restroom is gross. But if you’re going to hover, please do not piss all over the seat and then leave it there. Guess what? You are now the reason that public toilet seats are gross. Congratulations.

3. While we’re talking about public toilets, please explain to me how people can just not flush. If there’s an automatic flushing mechanism, maybe check to see if it flushes. Or, I don’t know, listen to hear if it flushes. If it doesn’t, there’s always a manual thing. Essentially what I’m saying here is flush the toilet after you use it.

4. I am trying to teach my 8 year old that if he wants something from me and I’m in another room, he should not shout to me from across the house. Guess what, grown ups? You shouldn’t be shouting either. Walk over to the intended recipient of your message. Pick up a phone. Email. Tie two tin cans with a string and give one to the other person but for the love of olive please stop shouting across rooms. I can’t speak for everyone, but I really don’t want to hear it.

5. Just, generally speaking, indoor voices. Please.

6. If you get really upset when someone calls you a bigot, maybe stop being one. That’s probably the easiest way to have people stop saying that to you.

7. If you unilaterally don’t like a group of people because they are in that group, there’s a good chance you’re a bigot. Or an asshole. Or both.

8. I found a Chipotle near my office. This was the high point of my week.

9. If you have half of an Italian sub that’s been sitting in your fridge since Tuesday and it’s Friday, I don’t recommend you eat it. It will not taste good.

10. This is yeah write’s nomo challenge Day 20. Only 10 days to go. I’m going to make it. Barely.

Does This Even Count Any More?

I’m so tired I can barely function.

I’m typing this on the laptop where the space bar doesn’t always work and fixing every third word is super annoying.

I haven’t been reading anyone else’s stuff which makes me a terrible nomo participant. Sorry, friends.

I think that I will not do this next year. I think I should only write when I have something to say.

Blurgh.

This is yeah write’s nomo  Day 15.