Category Archives: Random

The Heat Is (Not Yet) On.

I have this arbitrary rule that says I can’t turn the heat on in the house until November 1. Every year I break the rule because it ends up getting really cold.

Determined to make it all the way to my goal date this year, I took out all the window air conditioners before the weather changed and wind started blowing in through them. I was quite proud of how responsibly proactive I was. Still, we had a weird October cold snap and it got down into the 30s one night making it unbearable in here. When I woke up to a 58 degree house, I knew that I had no choice but to turn on the heat. I got it up to a respectable 65 and turned it off. I had to do this a few times that week so that we wouldn’t all freeze to death.

Now it’s November 14. I woke up to a 58 degree house. I haven’t turned the heat on since that week in October and now I’m kind of wondering how long I can go without turning it on at all.

To be honest, I kind of felt like I should not turn it on until I’d made up for the time I had it on in October. There was no means for calculating this self-imposed punishment, so I decided one day for ever hour I had the heat on would be fair. I couldn’t remember exactly how long the heat had been on for so, after chastising myself for not writing it down in my planner, I decided four hours sounded about right.

So four days. No heat. It was fine; it’s been warm.

But then I got to thinking that since we have a dual zone eating system, and I didn’t turn both floors on for the full estimated four hours each, maybe I should keep the heat of for one day per hour per floor, so maybe it was more like seven days into November that I shouldn’t use the heat.

If only I’d kept proper records, all of this could ambiguity could have been avoided. Or, you know, if only I didn’t need to create such ridiculous rules and consequences for myself.

I do have a little electric space heater that I sit next to when I work. No one else in the house seems to really mind that it’s cold (my son is currently wearing shorts and a t-shirt) so there probably isn’t much need to turn on the full house heat.

I’m getting up momentarily to start cleaning and then we’re going out for a while. I’ll keep the heat off at least until we get home later. Maybe I’ll keep it off then, too. Who can say? MAYBE I’LL JUST GO ALL WINTER WITHOUT HEAT AND THEN SIT IN A PILE OF MONEY I DIDN’T SPEND ON OIL!

I’ll probably turn the heat on tonight.

This riveting tale of my battle of wills with, I don’t know, the elements I guess, is yeah write’s nomo day 14.

That Moment When

That moment when you’re so tired and thirsty you make a cup of coffee and pour a big bottle of water and then you come |thisclose| to pouring half and half into the water and not into the coffee.

That moment when you’re so tired you refer to bread as bed.

That moment when you say something as ridiculous as, “This is the Swiss cheese of bed!” and you meant bread and that’s not really all that much better.

That moment when you forget to bring your antacids to kickboxing and have to keep stopping so you don’t puke on a heavy bag.

That moment when you realize you’re really like a 90 year old walking around with your heartburn and whatnot.

That moment when you tell someone, “I’ll bring you my card so you can check out my website!” and then you remember that your blog has been nothing but bullshit about your toilet and pesto and coffee and being tired.

That moment when you realize you really need to write something you can be proud of.

That moment when you realize tonight’s not going to be that night.

This is yeah write’s nomo writing challenge Day 12.

Fade Away.

I’ve been struggling to think about people I used to know. I grew up in a small town. I went to a small college. Most of my jobs have been long term. There were people I saw almost every single day and now it’s been so long since I’ve seen them I can barely remember that they used to exist in my world. Facebook became a place to reconnect with old friends and, of course, their lives have gone on just as mine has but I still see them there. Some are further in the background than others, slightly more blurry in my mind’s eye.

There are others I only hear about in passing. Gossip and rumors, hey-did-you-hear-about-this-one sort of stuff that floats around, the things that make old friends talk because it is their common ground. People we used to know – we share that.

And then there are others who just appear to be gone. I’m sure if I asked I could find out their deal. They hate social media or they moved away but their mom is in town or whatever. I’m sure they exist in some space and they are, somewhere, a fixture. Just like they used to be for me. Just like I used to be for them. Maybe.

Time always marches on. Things always change. People will always come and go. It seems like we take for granted that people will always be around simply because they were always around. But then they just aren’t and years go by and suddenly I realize that people have just faded away out of my memory.

People, as much as we may not want to admit it, just become obsolete. There’s some newer person who swoops in, maybe she’s more clever or more hip or more cool but whatever she is she’s just more of it. As much as things change people do, too, and it’s one of those things we can’t stop if we try but we don’t always notice it until it’s too late. And whether it’s that we let someone replace our old people or someone let us get replaced when I stop and think about it, it just leaves this cavernous pit in my stomach because all of us, each and every one of us, is replaceable even if we swear up and down that it’ll be different.

It won’t be different.

And before long, we’re just gone. Maybe we’ll pop into someone’s head someday and maybe someone will ask whatever happened to? or maybe not. Maybe we never pop back up. Maybe we’re completely forgotten.

Maybe we all just fade away.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not a real person, like I’m just a shadowy specter floating in the background until it’s time to fade away.

 

Featured image credit.

Brace Yourself.

One of the greatest things about being a human is having opposable thumbs. Perhaps you’ve never thought about this. Perhaps you take your thumbs for granted.

A few years ago, I was lifting a 50 lb bag of dog food out of the trunk of my car. As I flung it over my shoulder to carry it into the house, I felt a searing pain through my hand and wrist. I honestly thought I had broken my hand. Or, to be more precise, I thought perhaps I severed my thumb. After several days of pain I went to the doctor. Turns out I had De Quervain’s Tendinosis.

What’s that now?

De Quervain’s Tendinosis is an inflammation of the tendon (and all its tendony parts) on the thumb side of the wrist. There’s no one specific cause, rather the inflammation primarily happens as a result of repetitive movements. The orthopedist told me that he sees it a lot in mothers of young children because of all the diaper changing and dish-washing they do. That felt like a pretty sexist thing to say but since he knew how to treat it I wasn’t about to get into a feminist debate.

The pain is typically worse when making a fist or when grasping objects, particularly in a thumb to index finger manner. The treatment is to wear a brace. When it was severely inflamed, I was told to wear the brace as close to 24 hours a day as possible for two weeks. I could take it off to shower but that was about it. I was to find someone else to do all of my diapering and dish-washing.

He had warned that it would probably bother me on and off for the rest of my life. Turns out he’s right. Last night it was bothering me so much that I had to go dig out the old brace. I put it on and have since only taken it off to shower and write this post.

The brace helps the tendon heal by immobilizing the thumb. Have you ever had to live with an immobilized thumb? Here’s a list of the things that I’ve found easy to do with an immobilized thumb:

  • Sit.
  • Wear clothes (though not necessarily put them on or take them off).
  • Watch TV.
  • Listen to the radio.

Here is a list of things I’ve found difficult to do with an immobilized thumb:

  • Literally almost everything else.

I couldn’t grab my seat belt when I got in the car this morning. I could barely fold the laundry. I can’t do anything that involves water since the brace will get wet. I can’t really hold stuff. Reading is hard if I have to hold the thing I’m trying to read (most of my books don’t float, unfortunately). Eating anything that requires two hands is off the table. I could go on forever, except typing with the brace is close to impossible and typing without is too painful.

So you might be wondering what I did that caused this to flare up in the last few days. First, I mowed the lawn last week and I think holding the self-propelling bar on the mower strained it. It was tender, but tolerable. I think what put it over the edge was texting and typing on my phone. And now, both things are going to be problematic for a while.

I’m totally cool with the not mowing the lawn again soon part. That’s actually a good thing. It will give me some free time to practice my one-handed texting.

 

I have no choice but to give this post a thumbs up.

I have no choice but to give this post a thumbs up.

Stuff and Things. Things and Stuff.

Have you ever tried to eat chicken noodle soup when the entire lower right quadrant of your face is numb from dental work? It’s not easy. If this post feels sort of brothy, now you know why.

You might be wondering why I’m trying to eat soup and blog at the same time. The reason for that is simple: I have about 20 minutes to do both, and not eating isn’t an option because I might starve to death if I don’t do this right now. I have to go to the grocery store when I’m done here and I don’t want to go there hungry, so here we are. It’s particularly important this week since my dental depression will likely lead me to buy something I know I shouldn’t and if I’m hungry it will only be worse.

Perhaps now you are concerned about my oral health. It’s fine. Well, fine-ish, I guess. I had some exposed root. My dentist is pretty cool in that he will let me put off work that isn’t 100% necessary right this minute because he understands my extreme dental phobia. Today’s work was done to prevent “something major in the future.” This tactic usually works with me because going for a cleaning had me in the throes of a vomiting panic attack on Tuesday and I’m fairly certain that “something major” will cause me to panic to death. Please don’t ask me why. I know it’s crazy and that it doesn’t hurt that much and all that stuff, but whatever, I still puke about going to the dentist.

You may also be wondering where I’ve been. I didn’t want to let all of March go by without a post, so this is it. I have a few things lined up for April but I wanted to at least offer you up an explanation.

I have been writing, but it’s been almost all for the book. I’m determined, you guys. There’s still a lot of work to do, but I’m making steady progress which is very different than the progress I was making before. I’d call that progress intermittent at best, which is code for I wasn’t really writing all that much. I have several large blocks of time carved out in April exclusively for writing, so I’m hoping to make a really huge dent in things by the end of the month. Oh! And I have a new working title which is still a secret while I continue to work, but I think it’s a pretty good one. We’ll see.

So you’ll see stuff here next month, and I’ll be writing a bunch you won’t see for a long time (hopefully not for TOO long!), and you can also catch me weekly at yeah write. Every Tuesday I write a post to open our weekly nonfiction writing challenge. There’s also a fiction challenge and our newest thing, the gargleblaster, where you need to answer the prompt question in exactly 42 words. It’s fun stuff and good times, so I urge you to check us out. Unless of course you’re here from the moonshine grid (the weekend almost-free-for-all for those of you who are not visiting from there oh my goodness this is getting complicated), then you already know about yeah write, so hi!

Since I can’t always guarantee the frequency of my posts here, can I make a suggestion? How about you subscribe via email. It’s up in the sidebar, you just put your email address in there and you’ll get a notification when I post something. I don’t want you to miss anything in case I say something important.

I have to run for now. I was still hungry so I tried to eat a jelly doughnut. You’d think that would be easier than the soup that was dripping out of my head, but you’d be wrong. Jelly and powdered sugar everywhere. I need to go change my clothes and wash my face.