Last night I was sort of not in a great mood. And then life did the thing that it does and I ended up in a worse mood. Then I was up all night (life things) and my kid woke me up at 4:30 (time change things) and my mood was, dare I say it, sour.
A few years ago I randomly noticed a tweet from some bloggers I didn’t know which took me to their blog. I didn’t know it at the time, but that tweet was going to change my life.
When I couldn’t sleep, I thought about the Simon & Garfunkel song, I Am a Rock. I loved that song the first time I heard it because the lyrics spoke to me. I’m not a rock or an island, but I wished I could make myself either so many times. The rock feels no pain and an island never cries.
A link on the blog I got to from the tweet led me to yeah write. I’ve gone on and on about this writing challenge and the community I found there. This community welcomed me as a writer when I didn’t know if I really was one, but that isn’t the story. The story is that that one little tweet led me to some of the most amazing people.
The thing about amazing people? They know more amazing people.
Writing might make me seem like the type of person who is outgoing and fearless. I might seem like I want a lot of attention, that I’m comfortable in my skin, that I trust myself. More than anything, writing is a compulsion. I write because I have to and I share my work because I have to. I didn’t expect anything in return from writing. I expected to write in a vacuum forever.
I still wanted to be a rock or an island. But I kept meeting amazing people.
Sometimes life has a funny way of taking you down a path you didn’t know you needed to go down. Sometimes it opens you up to more amazing things, more amazing people. And these people lift you up when you’re down and keep building you up until you can stand up alone and not feel like you need to be a rock or an island.
Sometimes you get to be the light for other people, the arms raising them up because they need the boost. Sometimes you remember that friendship, true friendship, is a reciprocal arrangement to support those you love and who love you back. You remember that you deserve that reciprocity. You are worthy of it. They deserve it too and so you give it freely and without condition just like they do for you.
This morning, I needed to be lifted. I was remembering so well why I’d always wanted to be a rock, an island.
But I have this amazing group of people, a brick wall of support, who saw my hurt and jumped in to raise me back up.
Tonight I’m so glad I’m not a rock.
This is yeah write’s nomo writing challenge Day 5.