Challenge Week 2

Don’t you just love when people do challenges and they give you a play by play of how it went?  No?  Well, too bad.

You can read my post here about what challenge I’m talking about.  If you don’t want to go back, I can tell you, in one sentence, what my goals are.  For 8 weeks, I’m giving up 2 bad habits and adding 1 new one:

  • No drinking alcohol during the week.
  • No take out/restaurant breakfasts or lunches during the week.
  • Exercise at least 20 minutes per day.
So how did it go?

I’ve had no alcohol since 9/5.  Yes, I know 9/3 and 9/4 were part of the challenge, but, but, but…

I’ve been eating my meals at home on the prescribed days and having responsible meals the rest of the time mostly.

I’ve been exercising for at least 20 minutes all but Saturday, unless you count my 20 minute walk through Target which you obviously shouldn’t.

This week we are talking about insecurities.  I have about a zillion of them, but one that’s relevant to this fitness challenge is my weight.  I call myself fat constantly.  I try to be cute about it, but it’s sort of ridiculous.  I figure if I say it first then it lets people off the hook because I know they were thinking it.

For the record, I also know that most people aren’t actually thinking about it.  But my perception that everyone is thinking about my weight is a bit out of control.  For example, when we order dinner and it’s delivered, I figure the delivery guy is thinking that I have no business eating a pizza with this large of an ass.  Or when I order a diet soda in a restaurant, I figure the waitress is wondering why I bother with diet because, you know, look at me.  Honestly my thinking is absurd and I know it.

Here’s the other thing:  I’ve lost the same weight multiple times.  Between May 2011 and Labor Day 2012, I have gained 14 pounds.  But earlier this spring, I was 13 pounds lighter than I was at Labor Day.  I lost the weight and put it right back on within a few weeks.  In the last 5 years, I’ve been gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds over and over again.  This is so discouraging.  I know the only solution is to make changes slowly over time and not revert back to old behaviors.  But if it was that easy, we’d all be thin and in perfect shape.

I also have a terrible habit of weighing myself every day.  Somehow between yesterday morning and this morning, I gained almost a pound.  I ate reasonably yesterday so I’m sure it’s just a normal fluctuation but instead I berated myself yesterday about getting fatter somehow.  This is ridiculous behavior, I know, but well, it’s what happens.  I need to stop it.

So since Labor Day, I was down 4 pounds, except for yesterday so I guess I net out at 3.2 pounds for the first 10 days.  I know that’s a good start. I wish it was healthy to drop 60 pounds in one week because it feels like this will take forever at this rate.

That’s it.  That’s how it’s going.  I’m hoping for a more positive outlook next week and continued success in meeting my goals.

19 Responses to “Challenge Week 2”

  1. You’re doing great!! I say mean things about myself all the time, too. It’s such a hard habit to break. Don’t worry about the number on the scale too much because it fluctuates daily. I’m about to start my period so I feel all bloated and fat–totally discouraging. Luckily, the battery on my scale just died! haha

    • Thank you :) I know it’s a great start, but I can’t help feeling defeated by how long it will take to undo my bad habits. Because while I didn’t put it on overnight, it definitely didn’t take as long to put on as it will to take off!

      And yay for defunct scales that can’t taunt us!

  2. Losing weight can be so frustrating in a society where we don’t need much patience to attain anything; and I dont recommend coming down with an abscess (you know where) to accomplish it like I did. Bahaha. I bought Zumba before my butt broke and it was really fun (if you like dancing). It’s good that you’ve lost 3 lbs almost 4! YAY. Sticking to your goals (mostly) is good too. Its hard changing bad habits and you shouldnt be too hard on yourself about it. Change should be gradual – the its easier to maintain.

    Good luck for the rest of the week.

    • Yeah, I’m going to pass on the broken butt 😉 I’ve heard great things about Zumba but I’ve never done it. I enjoy the dancing games for the Wii, but I don’t feel like I push myself much, especially when I’m a lone. Soon the walking will be less than optimal when the weather changes so I better come up with a good alternative.

  3. Kianwi says:

    3.2 lbs is awesome! Good job! I’ve seen your walking tweets and have felt so proud of you each time. You are doing what you set out to do.

    Don’t call yourself fat anymore! Would you say that to your best friend? Your husband? Your child? This is easy for me to say, because I am cruel to myself too, for lots of different things, but it’s so sad that we do it. And not helpful one bit. You are an awesome woman who I greatly admire, and I’m not just saying that. I love your writing and you sound like such a wonderful mother. You are also working hard to get back in shape. That woman does not deserve for someone to be mean to her! I’ll work on it this week myself…let’s be nice to ourselves :)

    • You are way too kind, but thank you. You’re right that I need to be nicer to myself. I’d never let someone else talk to me this way and I wouldn’t talk to others like that. My first real goal was to stop the gaining and turn it around. So I do know that losing is great and I lost a reasonable amount so I know I wasn’t going overboard as I have before.

      I’m glad you’re seeing my tweets. If you don’t see one, feel free to call me on it! I figure if people get used to seeing that I’m walking, maybe they’ll say something if they notice I didn’t do my walk. And you favoriting them and responding makes me smile every day, so thank you :)

      That said, I’m blowing it off today :)

  4. Christie says:

    Yes! I was hoping to hear how it’s going. So happy you let us in. I totally adore you and

  5. It cut me off! I relate to this. Saying I am fat or whatever so no one think I don’t know. Great post.

  6. Don’t kick yourself, it just makes the whole thing unpleasant and conflicting. Celebrate the 3.2lbs and look ahead to how you’ll continue.

    And losing it repeatedly is better than not knowing how to do it at all. We get these chances to try again to make some permanent changes that will actually work for us.

    • That is a positive spin on this that I hadn’t considered. Thank you for that! Continuing good habits for the long haul has always been my weakness, but I have to keep going. Thanks for the great comment!

  7. Reanna says:

    I think it’s true that we don’t change until the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of making the change. It’s why so many smokers quit immediately (and fairly easily) upon being diagnosed with cancer. It’s also why I think it’s okay to be hard/realistic with ourselves. Not cruel, but also not making excuses and letting things slide. It sounds to me like you’re getting to that point.

    3-4 pounds is significant and a big step toward your goal. It’s a hell of a lot better than 0 or putting on 3-4 pounds.

    Also, walking through Target may not be a “workout,” but give yourself some credit for moving your body instead of sitting on your ass! It all counts.

    • Very true about the pain of change. I should have had enough already – I should know better.

      You’re right about the 3-4 pounds. I want to be happy about it. And you reminded me that one of the first things I said was that I need to stop gaining, so that was the most important thing. Losing that much in less than 2 weeks is a bonus.

      Thanks for a very thoughtful comment!

  8. Deb says:

    I can totally relate! Sending lots of support that this time will be different. Keep on keeping on!

  9. Pish Posh says:

    Hey I wasn’t perfect either. You’re doing great! And yes, your goals are great. No drinking or take out during the week – saves calories and money! Just requires a little careful shopping and Sunday meal planning, I think.

    I know exactly what you mean. And I’m glad you mentioned it because you were doing it with me too (700lbs). I do the same thing with my nose. When I’m at a beauty salon or such I make comments about my nose because I “know” they’re thinking it, and in my crazy head I think that makes it less awkward and they’ll think oh she’s not that ugly because at least she knows it. Isn’t that insane?

    And I have been weighing myself every day too. Let’s stop all this nonsense please.

    Try not to eat out or drink during the week, and try to learn healthy filling recipes to replace crap eating. Try to get a bit of exercise in, but not weigh ourselves every day. Accept that we don’t look just the way we want to, but not put ourselves down in our heads or out loud.

    • Some of my other favorite lines are to tell people I need to get down to my birth weight (6 lbs 4 oz) or that I need to lose 500 pounds. People look at me funny. I wonder why?

      I will try to quiet the voices in my head. No one is saying this stuff but me. And if anyone did tell me how fat I am, I’d be furious and they’d be assholes. I need to change my thinking.

      You are so supportive – thank you so much :)

  10. Congrats on the progress! It sounds as though you are doing great. Keep it up–we are all rooting you on!

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