Don’t you just love when people do challenges and they give you a play by play of how it went? No? Well, too bad.
You can read my post here about what challenge I’m talking about. If you don’t want to go back, I can tell you, in one sentence, what my goals are. For 8 weeks, I’m giving up 2 bad habits and adding 1 new one:
I’ve had no alcohol since 9/5. Yes, I know 9/3 and 9/4 were part of the challenge, but, but, but…
I’ve been eating my meals at home on the prescribed days and having responsible meals the rest of the time mostly.
I’ve been exercising for at least 20 minutes all but Saturday, unless you count my 20 minute walk through Target which you obviously shouldn’t.
This week we are talking about insecurities. I have about a zillion of them, but one that’s relevant to this fitness challenge is my weight. I call myself fat constantly. I try to be cute about it, but it’s sort of ridiculous. I figure if I say it first then it lets people off the hook because I know they were thinking it.
For the record, I also know that most people aren’t actually thinking about it. But my perception that everyone is thinking about my weight is a bit out of control. For example, when we order dinner and it’s delivered, I figure the delivery guy is thinking that I have no business eating a pizza with this large of an ass. Or when I order a diet soda in a restaurant, I figure the waitress is wondering why I bother with diet because, you know, look at me. Honestly my thinking is absurd and I know it.
Here’s the other thing: I’ve lost the same weight multiple times. Between May 2011 and Labor Day 2012, I have gained 14 pounds. But earlier this spring, I was 13 pounds lighter than I was at Labor Day. I lost the weight and put it right back on within a few weeks. In the last 5 years, I’ve been gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds over and over again. This is so discouraging. I know the only solution is to make changes slowly over time and not revert back to old behaviors. But if it was that easy, we’d all be thin and in perfect shape.
I also have a terrible habit of weighing myself every day. Somehow between yesterday morning and this morning, I gained almost a pound. I ate reasonably yesterday so I’m sure it’s just a normal fluctuation but instead I berated myself yesterday about getting fatter somehow. This is ridiculous behavior, I know, but well, it’s what happens. I need to stop it.
So since Labor Day, I was down 4 pounds, except for yesterday so I guess I net out at 3.2 pounds for the first 10 days. I know that’s a good start. I wish it was healthy to drop 60 pounds in one week because it feels like this will take forever at this rate.
That’s it. That’s how it’s going. I’m hoping for a more positive outlook next week and continued success in meeting my goals.