The Conquest.

The Conquest.

you almost forget, it’s buried so deep
you learned not to let your light shine
learned to cover yourself with a smudge

everyone avoids the one with the smudge
it’s easier to hide the feelings deep
it’s easier to pretend not to shine

you cannot fail if you don’t try to shine
you can always succeed with your smudge
you know they won’t look all that deep

but from deep, against your will, the shine always conquers the smudge

22 Responses to “The Conquest.”

  1. Ain’t that the truth! Thanks for making me think. Though on the other hand, aim low, you won’t be as disappointed! Great job using this poetry form.

  2. “The shine always covers the smudge” left me thinking.

  3. Asha Rajan says:

    This reminds me so much of my eldest. He tries to hide his shine under a smudge, but it always manages to peek through.

  4. Cyn K says:

    I wouldn’t have expected the word “smudge” to have so much potential. I really like how you used it in this tritina.

    • michellelongo says:

      I spent more time than I care to admit thinking about a finger smudge on stainless steel appliances but I vowed not to write about my refrigerator. I’m glad I found another use for the word.

  5. Just Me says:

    I really liked that you left us with a hopeful feeling at the end. I agree with Cyn that “smudge” surprised me… it adds a depth that made me think more than if you used something more conventional like “shadow.” Nice work

  6. Stacie says:

    I can’t believe you said this was terrible! I love it, and I’m glad the light is winning.

  7. iasoupmama says:

    Ditto Stacie — I am rooting for the light, too.

  8. Christine says:

    This has a really fierce strength and confidence. I love the way you take us from darkness to light.

  9. MichelleH says:

    I like how empowering this is. Smudge as a counterpoint was jarring against the concept of a shine, but it worked. After all, a smudge can’t completely block out the shine, can it?

  10. Lisa Shaw says:

    Hey lovely friend, you did beautifully with this tritina. I was glad that the twist at the end was a hopeful one. :)

  11. d3athlily says:

    Yes! So much yes. The shine does conquer the smudge. 😀

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