you almost forget, it’s buried so deep
you learned not to let your light shine
learned to cover yourself with a smudge
everyone avoids the one with the smudge
it’s easier to hide the feelings deep
it’s easier to pretend not to shine
you cannot fail if you don’t try to shine
you can always succeed with your smudge
you know they won’t look all that deep
but from deep, against your will, the shine always conquers the smudge
Ain’t that the truth! Thanks for making me think. Though on the other hand, aim low, you won’t be as disappointed! Great job using this poetry form.
Thanks! (Aiming low isn’t always a bad thing.)
“The shine always covers the smudge” left me thinking.
I do enjoy making people think.
This reminds me so much of my eldest. He tries to hide his shine under a smudge, but it always manages to peek through.
Shines are super annoying like that.
I wouldn’t have expected the word “smudge” to have so much potential. I really like how you used it in this tritina.
I spent more time than I care to admit thinking about a finger smudge on stainless steel appliances but I vowed not to write about my refrigerator. I’m glad I found another use for the word.
I really liked that you left us with a hopeful feeling at the end. I agree with Cyn that “smudge” surprised me… it adds a depth that made me think more than if you used something more conventional like “shadow.” Nice work
Thanks! I let someone else pick my words so it was tricky to make this work.
I can’t believe you said this was terrible! I love it, and I’m glad the light is winning.
Well, it did get zero votes and come in exactly last, so…
Ditto Stacie — I am rooting for the light, too.
Depends on the day which one I’m rooting for.
This has a really fierce strength and confidence. I love the way you take us from darkness to light.
Thanks. I like that you saw confidence in it.
I like how empowering this is. Smudge as a counterpoint was jarring against the concept of a shine, but it worked. After all, a smudge can’t completely block out the shine, can it?
Smudge was such a tough word for me, particularly with the other words.
Hey lovely friend, you did beautifully with this tritina. I was glad that the twist at the end was a hopeful one. 🙂
I like to pretend to be hopeful now and again. It keeps people guessing.
Yes! So much yes. The shine does conquer the smudge. 😀
I hope so, anyway.