How Old Am I?

How Old Am I?

I was born in 1976 according to my birth certificate. But I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m actually about 85 years old.  I submit to you the following recent events which I feel make a significant case for my claim.

1. My displeasure of Halloween knew no bounds this year as I audibly wished for the kids to get off my lawn. I’m not saying I want to see another hurricane or blizzard rip apart our area, but I did not miss Halloween in 2011 and 2012.

2. I find myself referring to “kids these days” and telling stories of “when I was young” in attempts to show how my generation was better.

3. Twice in one week I went down to the supermarket to buy some random grocery items I needed and paid for them in change. All change.

4. I can’t tolerate going out to an evening movie. Maybe I could on, say, a Tuesday or something like that. But a Saturday? Forget it. That’s when the kids are out! Recently my husband and I wanted to see a movie, but we lamented the ever-escalating ticket prices and the teenagers and how tired we were. Then we found the $3.50 theater in our area was playing a not terribly new movie at three in the afternoon. That would give us plenty of time to eat an early dinner, but to hold us over, we ate snacks and drank water that I had smuggled into the movie in my purse.

5.  The portable heater I have set up about two feet from my desk chair says it’s 80 degrees in here, but I beg to differ. I am still cold. Too bad I can’t crank this thing up to 90.

See? I can’t possibly be only thirty-seven.

This is NaBloPoMo Day 8. I’m going to go fix a cup of Sanka now.

10 Responses to “How Old Am I?”

  1. Ha…i’d hate to think how old I am based on this. I have ALWAYS smuggles snacks into the movies.

  2. Cindy Reed says:

    I am 8000 years older than you.

  3. Jake says:

    I’m younger than you, but feel the same age. Is that allowed? I’m saying yes, because the other night my roommate wanted to watch a movie, but I looked at the clock and saw it was already 8:30. I said “If we start it now, it won’t be over until 10:30, and I don’t know if I can commit to watching a movie without falling asleep”. I’m old.

  4. Stacie says:

    I’m 85 too. I like going to restaurants at 6pm. Which is so not the culture here. It’s more like 8pm for normal people!

  5. David loves to go to the movies in the middle of the night for this very reason. Seriously, he and his friends regularly go see midnight movies.

    • michellelongo says:

      See, there’s no way I would make it to midnight. I need to be home and in bed by 9! I’m a first matinee of the day kind of girl.

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