I am so worn out from the past few days, so I’m going to give out some unsolicited advice based on my experiences leaving the house this week.

1. Drive better. Maybe if there were less accidents, I wouldn’t spend so much of my damn life stuck in traffic. 90 minutes to get home from my office that is only 20 miles away is ridiculous. Just drive your car home. Do not drive it into someone else’s car and then we can all get home faster.

2. I get that sitting on a toilet seat in a public restroom is gross. But if you’re going to hover, please do not piss all over the seat and then leave it there. Guess what? You are now the reason that public toilet seats are gross. Congratulations.

3. While we’re talking about public toilets, please explain to me how people can just not flush. If there’s an automatic flushing mechanism, maybe check to see if it flushes. Or, I don’t know, listen to hear if it flushes. If it doesn’t, there’s always a manual thing. Essentially what I’m saying here is flush the toilet after you use it.

4. I am trying to teach my 8 year old that if he wants something from me and I’m in another room, he should not shout to me from across the house. Guess what, grown ups? You shouldn’t be shouting either. Walk over to the intended recipient of your message. Pick up a phone. Email. Tie two tin cans with a string and give one to the other person but for the love of olive please stop shouting across rooms. I can’t speak for everyone, but I really don’t want to hear it.

5. Just, generally speaking, indoor voices. Please.

6. If you get really upset when someone calls you a bigot, maybe stop being one. That’s probably the easiest way to have people stop saying that to you.

7. If you unilaterally don’t like a group of people because they are in that group, there’s a good chance you’re a bigot. Or an asshole. Or both.

8. I found a Chipotle near my office. This was the high point of my week.

9. If you have half of an Italian sub that’s been sitting in your fridge since Tuesday and it’s Friday, I don’t recommend you eat it. It will not taste good.

10. This is yeah write’s nomo challenge Day 20. Only 10 days to go. I’m going to make it. Barely.

4 Responses to “TGIF.”

  1. This is actually a really great list for the end of the week.

  2. The close proximity of a Chipotle to one’s place of employment and the associated mood boost is not to be underestimated.

leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: