Winter Is A Jerk.

Winter Is A Jerk.

It’s only late fall and I’m already sick of winter.

We’ve had one snowfall so far, and arguably it was a dusting at best. It was still far more snow than I’m comfortable with. It’s possible that the anticipation of snow could be a big part of my Winter Grouchiness. Please don’t confuse this with my regular, all-season grouchiness. That’s an entirely different matter.

Winter makes me angry, even when nothing is happening. Today I was in my basement and I saw the snow shovel up against the wall. I could feel the bile rise up inside of me. I am a master at resenting inanimate objects. The fact that I knew I was going to need that shovel at some point this winter was enough to make me furious even though it was nearly sixty degrees outside.

You see, the only thing worse than a surprise is knowing a surprise is coming and not knowing the details of the surprise. (Don’t you dare tell me that’s the point of a surprise because I will hurt you.) For example, when someone skips up to me with a grin and an I-have-a-surprise-for-you!, I immediately feel like I’m going to vomit. If you want to surprise me, please don’t tell me in advance because I will worry, even if you tell me not to worry because it’s so awesome. If you do that, I will worry more.

Snow is like the Earth’s awesome surprise. Every December, sometimes November, sometimes October, the air turns frigid and my stomach just turns. I can guarantee at least one time in the coming months I will be looking forward to plans and the stupid weather is going to ruin them.

As someone born and raised in New Jersey, this is part of the territory. This happens every year and every year I find my patience running thinner. Some people around these parts like to say things like, “Well, if you don’t like the snow, why don’t you just move?” as if picking up and moving to a better climate is the easiest thing in the world. Believe you me, I would be on the first train out of here if it were that easy.

Snow showers appear twice in the upcoming 10-day forecast.  I’m going to go kick my shovel now.


I’m adding my post to the moonshine grid at yeah write. Go check it out. It’s more fun than snow.

Featured image credit:
Featured image comment: Don’t give me that winter wonderland crap.

21 Responses to “Winter Is A Jerk.”

  1. Marcy says:

    I am a fellow winter hater up here in Connecticut. If I could just be sure I wouldn’t have to drive anywhere in dangerous weather and the power would always stay on, I think I could handle it a lot better. But I always find myself slipping along an interstate with maniacs passing by or huddling in the cold without power. Brrr.

    • michellelongo says:

      Exactly. If I have nothing to do it’s not so bad, but I rarely have nothing to do. Or moving around all my obligations becomes inconvenient. Abolish snow!!

  2. My mom is the same way about surprises.
    And you should come visit me in California and maybe never go back if you dislike winter.
    You’re going to hate me for saying this, but I don’t mind winter here because winter means “rain” and temperatures between 40 and 70. That’s why we layer, here – you can experience 30 degree shifts in the space of a day.
    I’ll fix up the guest bedroom for you.

    • michellelongo says:

      I would love to come visit you! There is some talk of a trip to the LA area maybe in the spring. If we come out, I’ll look you up because I’d love to grab a coffee with you :) I’ve been San Diego and I’ve cried about having to come home. Someday we will definitely be out there permanently. Winter is for the birds.

  3. jenbrunett says:

    It would be way more fun if they had riding snowblowers like they do lawn mowers. You could get some speakers wired into your ear muffs, attach a bottle of vodka to the upholder, and yippy ki yay your way through winter! (ps-i’m in the great lakes snow belt so I’m feeling your pain!)

    • michellelongo says:

      Oh you poor thing!! I spent two weeks in January in Detroit once. It was so dreary and cold it made NJ look like a dream. My mother was raised in Michigan and Maine and I’m so glad that at least I don’t live there. Lovely places in the summer, no doubt, but the winter would kill me for sure!

      • jenbrunett says:

        I’ve been all those places too and dare I say, sometimes they get more snow than we do! (wayyy to the left side of NYS). Summer’s are gorgeous though for sure. When it doesn’t rain!

  4. jenbrunett says:

    *cup holder…not sure what an upholder is

  5. Shailaja V says:

    As someone who lives in a tropical climate, where there is no snow( *ducks to avoid snowball *) I can only sympathise with your plight. And, yes, family and friends who live in your location have frequently mentioned this problem. I feel your pain.

  6. J. Milburn says:

    I feel the same way. Whenever someone asks me if I could live anywhere where would it be, my reply is always the same: Somewhere with no snow!

    • I just don’t understand when someone wants to be around snow. I suppose if I skied or did some other snow-based activity I’d like it well enough, but to have to be around it just in the course of daily life? No thank you.

  7. Swoosieque says:

    Living in Oklahoma here, we get a little bit of everything, right now, a big winter freeze with a few inches of snow on top of ice. Snow is pretty to look at through a big window alongside a nice crackling fireplace, but it is no fun when it comes to commuting!

  8. Stacie says:

    And now, it’s snowing! I don’t think you’ll need your shovel quite yet though, whew! I can’t wait to move back to CA. I’m not cut out for NJ winters.

  9. I actually really love winter, but this morning when I came out of my house at the crack of dawn to go to an early morning appointment and I had to scrape an inch of ice off my windshield when it was still dark outside – and freezing – I was kind of thinking winter was a jerk.

    • I was annoyed scraping the ice off my car at 1pm when it was barely ice anymore. I hate to be cold and I’m cold when it’s 65 degrees. I’m downright miserable when it’s in the 20s.

  10. Aussa Lorens says:

    Haha I am right there with you! Only thing is that where I am, people are still terrified of weather so work gets cancelled if there is a major snow/ice storm… silver lining.

    • michellelongo says:

      Around here, schools close but jobs stay open. And since I work from home, there’s really no reason for me to not work, so it’s all just annoying.

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